Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
