HIV tests are more positive than that guy
nutella sex= disaster
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
