Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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