Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
