I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
