Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize