Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
