Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab

  (253): View more from Washington

  I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.

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  (253): Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab (253): I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea. http://tfl.nu/y0mn
  Replies (3) Good night (2492) Bad night (713)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

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  (206): This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/tgbz
  Replies (11) Good night (3062) Bad night (928)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.

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  (850): Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual. http://tfl.nu/97w0
  Replies (44) Good night (13563) Bad night (1381)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.

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  (540): Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza. http://tfl.nu/9mae
  Replies (11) Good night (874) Bad night (4051)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.

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  (618): I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's. http://tfl.nu/uxq5
  Replies (11) Good night (4212) Bad night (1372)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

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  (612): drunk taco night MLK would want it this way. http://tfl.nu/ye78
  Replies (9) Good night (2802) Bad night (925)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.

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  (205): Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am. http://tfl.nu/dyri
  Replies (6) Good night (2026) Bad night (1192)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

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  (402): I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back. http://tfl.nu/jjtt
  Replies (8) Good night (2554) Bad night (906)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.

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  (205): Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/g7ht
  Replies (6) Good night (3663) Bad night (967)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.

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  (910): Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap. http://tfl.nu/jw87
  Replies (4) Good night (1429) Bad night (1167)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???

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  (907): Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed??? http://tfl.nu/qbm2
  Replies (20) Good night (2541) Bad night (642)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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  (248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0
  Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (439)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.

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  (727): Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension. http://tfl.nu/xvwt
  Replies (5) Good night (621) Bad night (350)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!

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  (920): I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me! http://tfl.nu/kvcq
  Replies (7) Good night (759) Bad night (349)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA

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  (330): lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA http://tfl.nu/ocjg
  Replies (5) Good night (372) Bad night (887)

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