Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is my gift to your gina
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?