I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..