i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
