saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
