Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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