The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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