I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
