I'm drive I can fine osifer
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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