so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
