some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
