Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
