when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
