That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
