Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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