Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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