Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
