So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
