Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
