i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
