someone owes me an orgasm
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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