Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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