oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
