i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize