idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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