I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize