that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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