You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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