I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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