she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
