so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
