Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
