Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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