I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
