I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
