im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
