Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize