i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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