U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
