i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
