She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You were trust falling into bushes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
