So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
