You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
