we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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