She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
