all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
