yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
