Jerry, you need to find god
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
