Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
