Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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