she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
