Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
