one might say we're banned from that church
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
